One day at a time…

Exactly one week ago, we were staring into a very blurry future. Maliyah was already back in surgery and we did not know what the outcome would be. Prior to her rolling back, as she was gasping and struggling for each breath she took, the doctor laid it all out on the table. He asked, “What are your limitations? What if we have to take out her whole bowel? How far do you want us to go? He said, “She may get very septic from her perforated stomach and that she may be on a ventilator for days. It may be touch and go for a while. Depending on her response she may not make it.” “She may come out with a stoma and/or a gtube and/or be TPN dependent for the rest of her life” I was not ready for a conversation like this. It was all so sudden and extremely difficult.

 The helplessness that you feel as a parent can be overwhelming. All I could say to the doctor was that we would cross each bridge when we got to it. I told him that God had given us 3 unexpected wonderful years with her and that we trusted Him. It was extremely difficult to acknowledge that we could possibly lose her if she went into septic shock and that if she did survive, what would her life look like? Adam and I had a long conversation while she was back in surgery. We talked about how God had led us in the past and that He ultimately knew what was best.  It didn’t mean that I hurt any less or that I wasn’t worried, but even though my emotions were yearning after my child, I knew that if God gave us Maliyah as a miracle these past 3 years and that He was capable of doing it again. Thankfully, the result of the surgery, while still serious, was not the worst case scenario. Maliyah was able to extubated right after surgery, she did not have any bowel resections, nor did she come out with a gtube or ostomy. That night while I was in her PICU room sleeping I heard her call me. I went over to her bedside and she was wide awake. She said Mommy! I all better now! I’m ready to go home! I was so thankful to hear her little sweet voice again.

Even though this was a traumatic incident, we saw how God was watching out for us. Early Saturday morning I was strongly impressed that Maliyah needed an NG tube. She hasn’t had one since she was a baby in the NICU, but after I heard sloshing in her tummy I knew that the fluids she was drinking was not be processed. As soon as we put the NG tube in we got almost 2 liters of fluid out.

 The next day, Adam was on his way to the airport and he called me. We talked about how he had no place to stay and that there were no rental cars available that were in our price range. As he walked up the gate he saw Caitlin (our pastor’s wife) and her nephew Jacob. Jacob was flying back to his family on the exact flight that Adam was on. Caitlin and her sister were able to coordinate a place for Adam to stay that was 2 blocks from the hospital, and that they would give him a ride to the hospital!

 Once he arrived in Oahu I called him and said, I have a car you can use. One of my brother’s friends from Michigan now lived on Oahu and was the principal of Hawaii Mission Academy. He contacted me and offered use of one of their cars! God saw to even the smaller details like watering my garden to watching our dog Meeka, everything just fell into place. Our friends and friends that are neighbors have been so thoughtful and amazing.

Each day since surgery, Maliyah has gotten a little stronger. She is able to walk back and forth to the bathroom (under protest) with minimal help now. She is now able to sit up for longer periods of time to color, paint, and play with play doh. She’s more chatty now when her fever isn’t spiking and will laugh from time to time. This is so very good to see. She is still in a good amount of pain which is mostly controlled by scheduled Tylenol every four hours.

Due to Maliyah’s persistent fevers we are scheduled to have another surgery at 8:30 am on Monday morning, unless, she miraculously stops having fevers. This surgery will be to go back in to clean and washout the infection caused by her perforated stomach. The surgery will also reset the clock as to when her digestive system wakes up. We’re praying that it won’t be too big of a setback but time will tell.

 We don’t know what the future holds but we are at peace knowing that God is control. We are taking it one day at a time…